The other day my wife and I were driving somewhere and we saw this kid walking down the street and it was freezing cold outside. The kid had on a pair of shorts, a T-shirt a fitted baseball hat turned to the back and a pair of sunglasses on. Again, in CT it was freezing out yesterday. So I said to my wife this idiot kid must think he’s cool, everybody else is walking around wearing jackets or even winter coats and this kid is walking around in shorts and a t-shirt with a baseball hat and sunglasses on. I’m like this fool really thinks he is cool huh? My wife said to me “what makes you think that he thinks he’s cool and why is he an idiot?” she asked me “how do you know that shorts, a T-shirt, sunglasses and a baseball hat aren’t all this kid has to wear? Maybe the kid doesn’t have a jacket or a coat. She asked me how do you know that this kid ain’t being bullied at school? She said, maybe a bully took his coat and hat and scarf from him. I thought to myself, oh my damn! She was right! I had no clue what the kids situation or story was and I was shocked, embarrassed and ashamed of myself for passing any kind of judgment on this kid at all, without knowing a thing about him or his circumstances.
This situation reminded me of a personal experience of mine that made me wonder if others had passed judgement on me, without knowing a thing about me or my circumstances. A few years ago my daughter was born extremely ill. She was born with a severe seizure disorder and immediately after she was born she was hospitalized for months at a time at various hospitals. One particular hospital stay happened to be during Thanksgiving and my daughter happened to have been hospitalized in a hospital that was about 60 or 70 miles away from where I lived. This particular Thanksgiving the hospital gave out baskets of Thanksgiving dinners to families that they felt needed or could use them and they gave my wife and I one. It was this big basket that had an entire Thanksgiving dinner in it except for the turkey. I’m an extremely proud person so I had my reservations about accepting this stuff. But, my circumstances were what they were. So, as I carried the big 30 gallon tub of food down the hallway of the hospital I thought to myself, how many people could be judging me right now. How many people could be saying, just get a job. How many people could be saying that I am depending on someone to feed my family. But it dawned on me that anybody that had anything to say about me or who had any judgement to pass on me, knew absolutely noting about me. There was no way that they could’ve possibly known that I had a 1-year-old daughter who was dying, they couldn’t have possibly known that I was working full-time and a running a business and probably logged more hours of work in 1 week than they did in 2 or 3 weeks. They couldn’t have possibly known that my daughter was so sick that she required medicine that wasn’t FDA approved that we had to buy cash from Canada which cost $500-$600 per month. They didn’t know that we had one income because my wife couldn’t work because somebody had to stay with my daughter all day everyday to make sure she was receiving proper care. They didn’t know that I had to pay $300 to $400 per month to commute and pay for parking every month to visit and spend time with my daughter. THOSE WHO WERE NOT IN MY SITUATION KNEW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT ME OR MY SITUATION AND DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION TO BE ABLE TO SIT AROUND AND JUDGE ME.
I guess my point is when you come across a homeless person on the street who may ask you for a dollar or two, or when you come across any man or woman whether homeless or not that asks for or may need a little help, before you get on your high horse and say “Get a effing job” or before you say “All they are going to do is use the money for drugs or alcohol” before you start questioning their lives or their decisions or before you start judging what you think you know about a person and their life. Before you prematurely judge ANY person by what you see, consider the FACT that there is way more to a person or their circumstances than you can’t or don’t see than what you do. Instead of prematurely judging people, perhaps just try to realize that we are ALL trying to navigate this same crazy world and be of service to each other. Please, keep in mind that at any given point, life might just deal you a hand where you too will need HELP and not JUDGEMENT.
I ain’t no old man or no old wise sage or nothing like that and I ain’t tryna be. But, in my short years of existence here on earth, I have had my fair share of experiences and learned my fair share of lessons. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned is “judge not, lest ye shall be judged”
“BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED, BECAUSE WHAT YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED CAN EASILY BE TAKEN”
“MOST PEOPLE REALLY ARE GOOD PEOPLE, TREAT PEOPLE GOOD”
“IF YOU JUDGE PEOPLE, YOU HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE THEM”- Mother Teresa
Have an incredibly PEACEFUL, POSITIVE, LOVE FILLED DAY! Enjoy your day and all of the blessings that come along with it!