Don’t Be So Quick To Judge!

 

judge-not-pic

PEACE!

The other day my wife and I were driving somewhere and we saw this kid walking down the street and it was freezing cold outside. The kid had on a pair of shorts, a T-shirt a fitted baseball hat turned to the back and a pair of sunglasses on. Again, in CT it was freezing out yesterday. So I said to my wife this idiot kid must think he’s cool, everybody else is walking around wearing jackets or even winter coats and this kid is walking around in shorts and a t-shirt with a baseball hat and sunglasses on. I’m like this fool really thinks he is cool huh? My wife said to me “what makes you think that he thinks he’s cool and why is he an idiot?” she asked me “how do you know that shorts, a T-shirt, sunglasses and a baseball hat aren’t all this kid has to wear? Maybe the kid doesn’t have a jacket or a coat. She asked me how do you know that this kid ain’t being bullied at school? She said, maybe a bully took his coat and hat and scarf from him.  I thought to myself, oh my damn! She was right! I had no clue what the kids situation or story was and I was shocked, embarrassed and ashamed of myself for passing any kind of judgment on this kid at all, without knowing a thing about him or his circumstances.

This situation reminded me of a personal experience of mine that made me wonder if others had passed judgement on me, without knowing a thing about me or my circumstances. A few years ago my  daughter was born extremely ill. She was be-kind-hard-battleborn with a severe seizure disorder and immediately after she was born she was hospitalized for months at a time at various hospitals. One particular hospital stay happened to be during Thanksgiving and my daughter happened to have been hospitalized in a hospital that was about 60 or 70 miles away from where I lived. This particular Thanksgiving the hospital gave out baskets of Thanksgiving dinners to families that they felt needed or could use them and they gave my wife and I one. It was this big basket that had an entire Thanksgiving dinner in it except for the turkey. I’m an extremely proud person so I had my reservations about accepting this stuff. But, my circumstances were what they were. So, as I carried the big 30 gallon tub of food down the hallway of the hospital I thought to myself, how many people could be judging me right now. How many people could be saying, just get a job. How many people could be saying that I am depending on someone to feed my family. But it dawned on me that anybody that had anything to say about me or who had any judgement to pass on me, knew absolutely noting about me. There was no way that they could’ve possibly known that I had a 1-year-old daughter who was dying, they couldn’t have possibly known that I was working  full-time and a running a business and probably logged more hours of work in 1 week than they did in 2 or 3 weeks. They couldn’t have possibly known that my daughter was so sick that she required medicine that wasn’t FDA approved that we had to buy cash from Canada which cost $500-$600 per month. They didn’t know that we had one income because my wife couldn’t work because somebody had to stay with my daughter all day everyday to make sure she was receiving proper care. They didn’t know that I had to pay $300 to $400 per month to commute and pay for parking every month to visit and spend time with my daughter. THOSE WHO WERE NOT IN MY SITUATION KNEW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT ME OR MY SITUATION AND DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION TO BE ABLE TO SIT AROUND AND JUDGE ME.

if-you-judge-people-mother-theresaI guess my point is when you come across a homeless person on the street who may ask you for a dollar or two, or when you come across any man or woman whether homeless or not that asks for or may need a little help, before you get on your high horse and say “Get a effing job” or before you say “All they are going to do is use the money for drugs or alcohol” before you start questioning their lives or their decisions or before you start judging what you think you know about a person and their life. Before you prematurely judge ANY person by what you see, consider the FACT that there is way more to a person or their circumstances than you can’t or don’t see than what you do. Instead of prematurely judging people, perhaps just try to realize that we are ALL trying to navigate this same crazy world and be of service to each other. Please, keep in mind that at any given point, life might just deal you a hand where you too will need HELP and not JUDGEMENT.

I ain’t no old man or no old wise sage or nothing like that and I ain’t tryna be. But, in my short years of existence here on earth, I have had my fair share of experiences and learned my fair share of lessons. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned is “judge not, lest ye shall be judged”

“BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED, BECAUSE WHAT YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED CAN EASILY BE TAKEN”

“MOST PEOPLE REALLY ARE GOOD PEOPLE, TREAT PEOPLE GOOD”

“IF YOU JUDGE PEOPLE, YOU HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE THEM”- Mother Teresa

Have an incredibly PEACEFUL, POSITIVE, LOVE FILLED DAY! Enjoy your day and all of the blessings that come along with it!

PEACE!

 

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THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

This too shall pass

Over the years I have noticed that around this time of year I come across a number of people who feel down or sad or sometimes even a little depressed. I spoke with a handful of people over the last few weeks who have told me that they were going through some mentally, financially and/or emotionally tough times. I figured that I think I know a little bit about tough times, so I shared a story that I thought might help. It then dawned on me that if I personally spoke with a handful of people who were going through some tough times mentally, financially and emotionally, there must be millions out there who are feeling the same way.  So, I decided to share a quick story with as many people as I could by putting it in a blog post. I wont take up too much of your time. Its a very quick story.

As may of you know, I had a daughter who was born extremely ill and who passed away when she was almost 2 years old. From the time she was born, our hope was that she would get better and grow healthier and stronger and that she would soon make a full recovery. Things didn’t go quite as planned. Time went on and her condition seemed to get worse and worse. Her hospital stays were getting longer and longer. She was getting sicker and sicker and kept having seizure after seizure. She would have hospital stays of months and months at a time. Her first stay in a hospital was in a children’s hospital in Westchester County NY. Despite the fact that our daughter was hospitalized, Westchester wasn’t too bad because it was closer to where we lived and closer to where I worked at the time. Eventually my daughter got so sick that the hospital she was in Westchester County could no longer care for her. So we had to change hospitals and she was transferred to The Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital in Manhattan.  As a result our daily routine had to change, and every morning I had to commute from Danbury CT to Manhattan to drop my wife off at the hospital so she could be with my daughter all day, I had to commute back from the hospital in Manhattan back to Scarsdale NY for work. After work go back from Scarsdale back to Manhattan to stay with my daughter until visiting hours were over around 10 pm. Then commute from Manhattan back home to Danbury CT. We survived on maybe 4 hours a sleep a night for months at a time. We were both extremely tired, irritable and afraid of our daughter dying at any given moment. It was an extremely stressful period of time. To add insult to injury, because my wife had to stay with my daughter all day she was unable to work. The cost of all of the commuting we had to do with tolls and gas, the cost of the medicine that we suddenly had to pay for monthly out of pocket, the cost of eating and parking in Manhattan everyday etc. began to take a serious financial toll on us. Needless to say a few household bills began to pile up. So, in addition to being tired, irritable and afraid of our daughter dying at any minute, we were now faced with the threat of foreclosure of my home and repossession of my car. Things started to get really thick. A few weeks of this goes by and nothing was getting better, in fact everything was getting worse, my daughter was having seizure after seizure and getting sicker and sicker, the medicine that we had to pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket every month for wasn’t even working and the threat of losing my house and my car was looming and there was absolutely no relief in sight. The weight was getting way to heavy and I really didn’t know how much longer I would be able to hold it.

This too shall pass tooOne weekend my mother and sister came up to our house just to help us out around the house and just be there for us. The tension in my house was as thick as it could get and my wife had started taking our frustrations out on each other. One night my wife and I got in to a really bad argument and my mother came and broke us up. My wife stayed in my living room and talked with my sister and my mother brought me into my bedroom and started talking to me. After just a few words I burst out crying like a baby. I told her “I can’t take this anymore”. “I’m trying to be patient, I’m trying to be positive but nothing is working”, “I hate this, I hate this”. “Nothing is going right, everything is getting worse and worse”. “Its not my fault I was born with a sick child to take care of. Now I have to worry about having a place to live”. I cried like I had never cried before in my life. My mother changed everything for me with 4 simple words. She told me that THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

She told me that life wont always be like this. Things will get easier and that things will get better. She reminded me that there is a light at the tunnel and instead of focusing on everything that is going wrong, focus on everything that is going right. Focus on your good health, focus on spending as much time with your daughter and family as you can etc.  She told me to think of every other “Crisis” that I have ever had in my life when I thought life was going to end and where I was worried sick. She reminded me to think of every other “major problem” that I had when “I just couldn’t take it anymore”. As I thought back to every other “Crisis” I realized that no matter how bad it was, that I am still alive today to tell about it. No matter how bad any of my problems of the past have been, I made it through. She said I know that you are going through some extremely tough times right now, and because you are dealing with them right now, it seems like things will never get better. But things will get better, they have to. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! This phrase changed my perspective completely. It helped me to get out of the emotional and mental desert I was in. This phrase enabled me to shift my mind from focusing on my problems to focusing on solutions.

So if anyone at all out there happens to be going through some difficult times, should they be emotional, mental, financial etc. If you are having financial problems, marriage problems, if you lost a loved one, lost a job or having a hard time finding a job etc., I want to encourage you, right now as you are reading to JUST SMILE and focus and celebrate what’s going right for you in life. Focus on and celebrate your healthy happy children who are alive and able to see and laugh and play another day, celebrate your spouse, focus on and celebrate your good family and friends that are there for you and that loves and supports you, celebrate the fact that you can still see, hear, think, walk and talk etc. FOCUS ON AND CELEBRATE THE GOODNESS OF LIFE. FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS AND NOT THE  PROBLEMS! There is a light at the end of your tunnel! Keep staring at the light and keep moving forward with a positive attitude. You will look up and your problems will be in your rear view mirror! It cannot rain forever! The SUN must shine at some point!

Just remember that….

 

IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES, THEY HAVE NOT COME TO STAY, THEY HAVE ONLY COME TO PASS!

 

DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE, AND GIVE THANKS FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU, KNOWING THAT EVERY STEP FORWARD IS A STEP TOWARD ACHIEVING SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER THAN YOUR CURRENT SITUATION.

-Brian Tracy

IT IS NOT WHAT THEY TAKE AWAY FROM YOU THAT COUNTS. WHAT COUNTS IS WHAT YOU DO WITH WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT!

-Hubert H. Humphrey

STAY POSITIVE AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD, AND TRUST ME ON THIS ONE THE WORLD IS YOURS!

Have a HEALTHY, HAPPY, LOVE FILLED, PROSPEROUS, PRODUCTIVE, PURPOSE FILLED, POSITIVE, PEACEFUL New Year!

PEACE!

 

 

 

 

 

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DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL

jermaine-jackson Dont take it personal

I work in sales and I have for most of my adult life. I have done inside sales, where the sale is made over the telephone where I have never met the customer and they have never met me. I have done outside sales where you knock on doors and you actually need to go to people’s homes and actually meet with people. Just because of the sheer number of people I need to meet, it dramatically increase my chances of running into mean, nasty, rude disagreeable people. Over the years when I have called people, even on my very first phone call to them I have had people tell me “EFF OFF” I have had people tell me “You’re a loser, get a better job, You don’t have anything to do but call people and disturb working people all day?” I have had people threaten my life over the telephone if I ever called them again. I have had people I have never even met say things about my kids and mother over the phone after speaking to me for 10 seconds. I get a phone hung up and slammed on me at least 200 times per day. I have hundreds and hundreds of doors slammed in my face. If there was any lesson that I would say that I have learned is “Don’t take it personal”. These people slamming the doors in my face and hanging up the phone and being nasty and rude don’t know me. It’s not me they hate.  It’s not me that they are angry at. They don’t know me to hate me or be angry at me. On the flip side of the coin I also have hundreds and hundreds of people who tell me that they are not interested, or they don’t need my services or they are already working with someone and they reject me but they are as sweet as pie. Very nice and very polite and simply state that they are not interested.  My guess is that those who are rude, mean, nasty, angry to me most likely means that they are probably rude, mean, nasty and to their butcher, their bank teller, their mechanic, their drivers, the pizza delivery guy etc.

I say all of this to say that there are just mean, angry, nasty, rude and bitter people in the world. There is nothing that anyone could do to stop it or change it. When you come across one, be it at the DMV at your job or the post office or another shopper in the supermarket and they happen to be rude or nasty DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL, it is not about you. What they are really saying is that I hate my position in life or I feel like I was dealt a bad hand in life or I have been hurt before, or I have some unresolved issue. They are really saying “I am an angry, mean, bitter, nasty, rude person and I am trying pull you into becoming an angry, mean, bitter, nasty, rude person too”.  Misery absolutely loves company so, if I pull you in we can be angry, mean, bitter, nasty and rude together. However, if you are focused and have a plan and an agenda for your life and if Walk Awayyou have dreams, and ideas that you are working on and building to better you and your family’s lives, EVERY SECOND AND EVERY DROP OF ENERGY COUNTS AND IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! There is no spare time or energy to allow some thief to come and steal any away from you. I’m simply recommending the next time someone is rude or nasty to you, don’t let them get that nasty poisonous energy all over you. Don’t let that person steal any of your building time or energy by standing around in a grocery store or in a parking lot arguing and exchanging insults or negative energy with them, especially if it is someone who you don’t even know or who doesn’t know you. They are not mad or angry at you, they are mad and angry at themselves and their own lives.  Simply reply “Sheesh, you sure are having a rough day huh?” put it all back on them and let them stew in the negativity. Go on about your business, go on about your plans and I can almost guarantee you that you will have forgotten about that person within minutes. That person will be stuck in that negativity, anger and bitterness for the rest of their lives and they will be forced to go find someone else to play with. DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL! Other people’s anger and negativity and bitterness is not about you. It’s about them. When I am on the telephone I focus on finding the person who is going to say yes, I focus on my next victory, I focus on my next success. As a result I don’t have time to focus or give any extra attention to rudeness happening right now. If I got caught up with every jive turkey that got rude or nasty or said something mean to me, I would be caught up in negativity instead of moving on to victory and success and the person who would bring something good to my life. Keep moving forward! THERE IS NO TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE! People’s negativity, anger, bitterness, rudeness is a trap to keep the HAPPY, PROSPEROUS, DETERMINED, FOCUSED, AMBITIOUS, PEACEFUL and DRIVEN from moving forward. DO NOT FALL IN! Their negativity, anger, bitterness, rudeness HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Be like my man Jermaine Jackson and….

DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL!

LET THE NONSENSE GO AND KEEP WINNING!

Remember that…

HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE!

KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

THE WORLD IS YOURS!

PEACE!

 

 

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PLEASE DO NOT SEND GODS CALL TO VOICEMAIL

Touch the world

A visitor from Columbia, a visitor from South Korea, Singapore, Kenya, Calabasas, CA.  A visitor from Oslo, Norway, Brooklyn NY, Frankfurt Am Main Germany, Torre Del Greco in Naples Italy, United Kingdom, Stone Mountain GA, Sao Paulo Brazil (I do actually have a point).  When I was younger, maybe even a kid, I remember (this is No lie) when I was a kid I remember hearing this little voice inside of me that told me that I would somehow someway touch the world. I remember a kid thinking that somehow, someway I was really going to touch the world. I remember thinking that I would some day have an impact on people all over the globe. At the time I was thinking this I was just a chubby punk kid from at the time a relatively unheard of city by the name of Yonkers, New York. Time went on and I got a little older and still, no impact on anybody, no nothing. I remember thinking that little voice was some BS. That little voice was a damn liar. I aint no athlete, I aint no actor, I’m not on TV, I can’t sing or dance worth a dime. I wondered how was I supposed to have this so-called impact on the world. But, that feeling that I had that I would somehow touch the world remained. I didn’t know how I would do it but, that little voice remained.

Without giving it much thought, I just continued to walk my path. Along that path I have been a Stockbroker, Banker, Real Estate agent, Financial Advisor, Started my own businesses etc. They were all great opportunities, but I still couldn’t figure out how was I going to get to the other side of the world.  After my daughter passed away a gained new perspective on life and about seizing the day and seizing opportunities and not taking things for granted. I started encouraging people based on my own personal experiences.  After my daughter passed away that voice that i was telling you about got a little louder.  A few people had suggested to me “Hey, you should be a motivational speaker”. The first few times I heard the suggestion I chuckled it off and laughed it off thinking to myself “Who could I motivate and inspire? Aint nobody gonna listen to me. Who am I? What if I fail? What if I go and speak and nobody is motivated or nobody even pays attention? Nah, nobody will listen to me I’m just some chubby punk kid from Yonkers, NY”. It was like the Universe or GOD was calling me and I kept sending the call to Voicemail. A few more people said it and the voice got louder.  Time went on and instead of chuckling it off I remember thinking to myself what if these people and their suggestions of being a motivational speaker were the universes way of telling me that this is what I was called or put here to do. What if I was called to endure the pain of losing my little girl simply so that I could spread a message of motivation, inspiration, hope, positivity, gratitude and encouragement to others? At this point that little voice was yelling at me. The universe was calling and calling me and I kept sending it to voicemail. But, this time I decided that I was going to answer the call. I took the steps to find out what I needed to do to become a motivational speaker. One of the steps or recommendations was to join this organization named Toastmasters. I am only oneToastmasters is an organization that helps to develop public speaking skills. You meet twice a month and everyone gives speeches and practices  speaking and developing speaking skills. One night one of the members gave a speech on how to start a blog. I was intrigued from the start of her speech. I remember thinking a blog as in the internet? You mean like the World Wide Web? World Wide Web! Instantly it clicked. I now knew how I was going to touch the world. I would touch the world through the World Wide Web. I went home that night and instantly got to work on my new blog. I got it up and running and my first few posts seemed to fall flat on their faces. It seemed like no one read them and no one really cared. during my first few posts I remember thinking that “Yet once again GOD set me up to fail”. I’m writing what I felt was great stuff. Why is no one reading? Why is no one paying attention? I started to get discouraged. I wanted to stop it all together. One day a friend of mine at my job told me that she read my blog and she thought it was great.  She told me that she had been writing blogs for years and that she could help me. I took her up on her offer and she really really helped me out, she did some layout and design stuff.  She was really helpful. I just kept writing and writing and one day I got an E-mail from a lady in Norway who told me that she really loved what I was doing and she asked me to please keep doing what I was doing. A few days later I got an E-Mail from a young lady in the UK thanking me and telling me she was starting a business and when she gets down and feels like giving up, she reads my blog. It has been over a year now and I get messages and visitors from all over the world who literally thank me for sharing my experiences and doing what I do. I finally figured out how to touch the world.

It turns out after all of these years that little voice that I heard when I was a kid and that I sometime doubted along the way was right. No matter in how big or small of a way, no matter on what level, I have touched and impacted people all over the globe. I have done speaking engagements where people have thanked me a year or two later for some of the thoughts, words and ideas that I have shared. GOD called me, and I answered. Once I answered, I was given the instructions, and the path that I would need to walk was laid out before me. All I had to do was keep walking.

I could be wrong about this but I believe firmly (actually I’m going to say that I’m not wrong about this). I KNOW that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US has that little voice inside of us that tells us everyday how great we are and that we are going to accomplish great things. But, I also know that some of us ignore that little voice. Some of us tell the little voice to “Just shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I never finished High School or I never went to college or  I have battled with drugs or alcohol addiction my whole life or, I have done so much wrong and bad in my life that I can’t be capable of anything great. Some of us say I got a felony or a criminal record I aint never going to be able to do anything great. Some say I aint pretty enough, Start nowsmart enough, funny enough, tall enough I’m was adopted, my mother left me my father left me etc etc”. As a result when we get that call from GOD/The Universe we don’t think we are worthy of it, we ignore it and send it to voicemail.  But, one thing that I have learned is that you fulfilling your purpose and your destiny is an emergency GOD got work that he needs for us to do around here! We all have jobs to do, so GOD aint leaving no voicemail. GOD is going to keep calling and keep calling and keep calling and that little voice will remain until you answer. WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR CAPABILITIES AND YOUR PURPOSE AND YOUR MISSION AND WHAT YOU WERE PUT HERE TO ACCOMPLISH, YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF DOES NOT MATTER! GOD knows you are capable of fulfilling your purpose and your mission in life. You were sent down the path that you were sent so that your life experiences can equip you with ALL of the tools that you will need to fulfill that purpose and that mission. GOD aint got no time to be fooling around. If you weren’t worthy of the dream, if you didn’t have what it took to fulfill your purpose or your dream IT WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN GIVEN TO YOU! You are more than ready, you are more than prepared! Answer the call, start walking and as you walk, the path will be laid out before you and you will be given all of the tools that you will need a long the way…..

Remember that….

EVERYONE WHO GOT WHERE HE IS, HAD TO BEGIN WHERE HE WAS!

START WHERE YOU ARE, USE WHAT YOU HAVE, DO WHAT YOU CAN!

-Arthur Ashe

I PROMISE YOU, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO GET STARTED!

THE WORLD IS YOURS!

And by the way, thank you ALL very much for reading!

PEACE!

 

 

 

 

 

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“ICE COLD LEMONADE”

lemonade

One day as I’m coming home, I pull into the entrance to my neighborhood and I see this little maybe 11,12, 13 year old kid standing there. He has a little table set up in front of him and a red cooler on the ground next to him. On top of his table, there are a bag of fresh lemons, one of those big refrigerator dispensers of Poland Spring water, a big 5 pound bag of sugar and a stack of plastic cups. In front of his table he has this huge beautifully designed signed that says “Fresh Lemonade”.  So I drive closer to the kid and as I drive closer to the kid he’s yelling “Lemonade, Lemonade Get your ice-cold lemonade here”. This kid sounded just like the lemonade guys at the fair or just like the beer or peanut guys at professional baseball games. I’m immediately thoroughly impressed by the kid, not just because of how professional he is. I am impressed by the kid because its summertime and at a time when most kids are on vacation and either in the house watching TV or playing video games, this little kid was out here on a mission. I pull up next to the kid and I ask him how much did he want for a cup. He said “.75 cents a cup or 2 cups for $1”. I told him I didn’t have a dollar on me but let me go home and drop off my bags and I will be right out to buy some. I wondered how many people told him the same thing. How many people told him yeah yeah yeah kid, ill buy some when I come back and never came back or did come back and drove right past him. I’m sure the kid has heard that at least 10 times that day. So when I said it I expected the kid to have a look of disappointment on his face. But, I told the kid I would be right back and he said ok as though he really didn’t care if I came back or not. He seemed to just know that I wasn’t the only one who could buy his lemonade. As I drove past the kid I could hear him yell again “Lemonade, Lemonade get your ice-cold lemonade here”. I go inside of my house and drop my bags off I go in and grab a $20 bill off my dresser. I go back downstairs get in my car and pull up next to the kid and I asked him why he isn’t home playing video games or watching TV like the other kids. I asked him what made him decide to do this. With all of the enthusiasm and excitement this kid could muster he told me “2 weeks ago one of my friends made $40 standing in this same exact spot” he said “I’m gonna stand in this same exact spot until I make at least $40 too”. I asked him how much he made so far and he told me he made about $22. I’m impressed and thrilled by this kid so I gave the kid the $20 bill I told him to keep the change. I told him I was extremely proud of him and I told him to keep at it. When the kid told me that his goal was $40, I’m thinking ok he met his goal and now the lil fella would pack up his little stand and go on home and watch cartoons or something. Instead, this kid takes the $20, puts it in his little cash register (Little plastic cup on the table) thanked me a few times and went right back to business. I pulled of to and as I pulled off I could hear the little kid yell “Lemonade, Lemonade Get your ice-cold lemonade here”.  As I drive up the street, I look in my rear view mirror and I see 3 cars fly right past the kid and his lemonade stand and not give that kid or his lemonade a second thought. I watched 2 or 3 people walk past him and not even say hello to the kid. The kid could care less.

Being that I am in and have been in sales I thought about this kid for weeks. There were endless life/business lessons that we could all have learned from this little kid.

 

If you are in sales or starting a business or if you have decided to go back to school or accomplish anything in life, here are a few lessons that I thought we could all learn from this kid.

 

1) LOSE YOUR FEAR OF REJECTION

I know for a fact this kid got way more rejections that day than he did sales. Some people im sure told him “nah kid, no thanks, I’m on a diet no sugar for me”. Some people told him “No thanks, I got lemonade at home” Some people flat out told him “NO” and some people just drove or walked right past the kid and ignored him completely. But this kid wasn’t focused on those who DIDNT want lemonade. He wasn’t focused on those who weren’t interested. Instead of dwelling on those who didn’t want lemonade he focused all of his energy on doing the best he could to attract and serve those who ACTUALLY WANTED his lemonade. The few who wanted his lemonade were more important to him than the many who didn’t want it. Not everyone will want or need what you have, but some will. You are there for those who do!

 

2) DONT HARBOR ANY FEELINGS OF BITTERNESS, ANGER OR RESENTMENT

I wondered how many that day told that kid “Give me 5 minutes and I will be right back” and never showed up. I wondered if the kid ever got excited thinking about all the money he was going to get when these people “Came right back” and if he was disappointed and mad and angry and bitter when they never showed up. if he was you certainly couldn’t see it on his face or hear it in his voice. He treated every new customer like they were his first and only. He never got angry or bitter or negative he let those who lied to him, fronted on him go and he kept selling. How many of us during our process of building something, had people tell us “Yeah Yeah, I can help you, I’m gonna do this for you I’m gonna do that for you, I can do this, I can do that, I know this person I know that person” and when it comes time to help they are nowhere to be found. Wont answer your calls, wont respond to your texts and we get angry, bitter or resentful. DON’T worry about them, stay with it and eventually you will attract and come across individuals who will really support and help you. STAY FOCUSED AND STAY POSITIVE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

 

3) HAVE SPECIFIC GOALS 

This kid wasn’t out there randomly or haphazardly just saying “Well hopefully I can sell as much lemonade as possible or make as much money as possible”. That kid had a hard number or goal of $40 that he was striving for and he was determined not to leave that spot until he hit it. Having a specific goal is what enabled him to endure the rejection and endure the fake supporters. Because he focused on those who could help him achieve his goals and didn’t have time to even think about those who couldn’t or wouldn’t or didn’t. His focus on his goal and his determination to meet his goal wouldn’t allow him to be sidetracked by anything else. He focused on his goal and he actually exceeded it.

 

4) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH “POSITIVE AND SUCCESSFUL DOERS” WHO WILL ENCOURAGE YOU TO “DO” IT TOO.

This kid said the reason he was out there selling lemonade was because he had a friend who DID what he was trying to do. He said if she could DO it, then he knew that he COULD DO IT TOO.  He knew that he wanted to succeed so he simply found out what those who have succeeded before him did and then he did it. Imagine if his friend would have told him that she joined a gang or started selling drugs and she made money doing it.  It’s quite possible that instead of lemonade he might have ended up in a gang or selling drugs too. The kid was associated with a positive successful entrepreneurial mind, that set an example for him of what was possible for him. He had clear evidence in his face of the possibilities of success and it gave him the confidence to know that HE COULD DO IT TO. The confidence enabled him to GO DO IT TOO.

 

5He who is not courageous) GET IN THE GAME (LUCK IS WHEN PREPARATION MEETS OPPORTUNITY)

When that kid went home that night and told his friend that he made more than the $40 that she made, if he told the story about me giving him the $20 if his friend was like most people she probably said “Oh you just got lucky”.  I have learned that LUCK IS WHEN PREPARATION MEETS OPPORTUNITY!  I have learned that THE HARDER YOU WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU GET! If that kid was at home or decided to “Take a break” or if he was at home watching cartoons or playing video games or if  he was at home procrastinating saying “Well I’m just going to spend today designing my sign today or perfecting my recipe and I will wait until tomorrow to actually sell the lemonade. If that kid had been doing anything other than out there selling his lemonade at the time I drove up, we would have missed each other. He was ONLY LUCKY BECAUSE HE WAS OUT THERE, HE WAS PREPARED AND HE WAS IN THE GAME!

 

6) DONT BE SCARED TO FAIL

There are absolutely no guarantees that because you are a cute little kid selling lemonade that people are going to buy it from you. He wasn’t the only lemonade stand in town. We are in a tough economy. He is going up against the big guys like Country Time, Newman’s Own , Minute Maid etc. They got pink lemonade and raspberry and peach flavored lemonade . With sugar concerns and health consciousness on the rise many a little kid lemonade stand folds and goes under everyday.  There is more evidence or more reasons for this kid to stay home and not even try. All of the evidence says kid you’re gonna fail, don’t even try. But, evidence be damned! This kid was prepared, he believed, he set a goal and he hit it. PLEASE DO NOT BE SCARED TO FAIL!

I can go on and on about this little kid, but I think you get the point. As you think about your dreams and plans and goals. There will be obstacles, roadblocks, disappointments and setbacks etc. BUT NONE GREAT ENOUGH TO STOP YOU FROM ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS OR TURNING YOUR DREAMS TO REALITY! So when it gets tough, when it gets difficult, when you think about giving up, DONT! Just keep thinking and shouting out in your mind “LEMONADE, LEMONADE, GET YOUR ICE-COLD LEMONADE” AND KEEP GOING!if you even dream of beating me

 

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

-Thomas Jefferson

THE WORLD IS YOURS!

 

PEACE!

 

 

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THE PROBLEM ISN’T THE PROBLEM!

 

Elephant Charge

One thing that I have learned is that if you don’t control your own thoughts and force yourself to stay positive, its extremely easy to get caught up in the negativity that seems to prevail and govern our society.  So to try to stay away from adopting a negative mindset I try to read and listen to as many positive stories and messages as possible. One of the stories I read recently that happened to stay with me was the story about the Elephant and the rope and I couldn’t wait to share it.

The story is about this guy who was walking past some elephants one day that were extremely large, and because the size of the elephants the man was baffled by what he saw. As the man was walking he suddenly stopped, he was confused by the fact that these 5,000, 10,000, 15,000 pound creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg which was tied to a wooden stake that was hammered into the ground. How was this possible the man thought. How could something so large and powerful like a 10,000 pound elephant, be held captive by something so small and frail like a small rope? No big heavy steel chains were necessary, no cages were necessary. The man couldn’t believe this. It just didn’t make any sense to him. It was obvious that the elephants were big and strong enough that at anytime THEY CHOSE could simply start walking and they could easily break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

Seeing this site baffled the man. He needed to know how this was possible. He needed answers, so he saw the elephant trainer nearby and he asked the trainer why these large, massive, extremely powerful and strong creatures just stood there and made no attempt to get away even though they could easily break away and free themselves anytime they so chose. The trainer explained to the man, that when the elephants are very young and much smaller around 150 pounds or so they use the same size rope and tied to a stake hammered into the ground to keep them in place. When they are that age the small rope is enough to hold them. While they are little and As they are growing up they whine and they tug at the rope and some even try to chew at it to break free. No matter what they do to try to try to escape, the rope holds them back. After a few years of trying and failing the elephants are mentally conditioned to believe that as long as they have this small rope tied to them they will never be able to break free. They believe that the rope can still hold them, so by the time that they become big powerful massive adults they have given up and they don’t even try to break free anymore.

The man was blown away. These large powerful animals could at any time break free from these bonds that were holding them back, but because THEY BELIEVE that they can’t, they don’t even bother to try anymore. Eventually the elephant gives up and the fight is over. From this moment the elephant decides to just give in because in its mind, it will never be free.

Whats holding you backReading this story brought an interesting question to mind. How many of us, as big and powerful and as mighty and as powerful as we are, who are capable of amazing and mighty feats, are being held in place by small tiny ropes. How many of us have tried to pursue goals or dreams and maybe it didn’t work out on the first try, and we are walking around saying “well, I tried once and it didn’t work out” but have never bothered to try again? How many of us have said “what’s the use in trying? I’ll never be able to ___.” or “Every time I try to ___, something goes wrong” or “I don’t have a college degree or the right connections” or “I don’t have this or that, I will never be able to ___.” How many of us tell ourselves this stuff and as a result we never even bother to try to move from where we are. We accept limitations that exist only in our minds and we become captive and a prisoner to our own thoughts.

I’m here to tell you that our own thoughts are but a small thin rope tied to our mighty legs. When WE SO CHOOSE to start walking towards our destination those little ropes will snap and we will be able to return to our KINGDOMS to live the lives that we were DESTINED, DESIGNED AND PUT HERE TO LIVE. All you have to do is say THESE ROPES CAN’T HOLD ME, AND START WALKING TOWARDS OUR DESTINATIONS. It isn’t the weak flimsy string that holds the elephant back. It’s the elephants mind and the power that the elephant gives that weak flimsy string that holds it back. It’s all in the elephants mind.  Just like that elephant, it isn’t our past failures or defeats, it isn’t our lack of a college degree or high school diploma, or family backgrounds or our pasts, or our upbringing etc that holds us back, WHAT HOLDS US BACK IS THE POWER WE GIVE THOSE THINGS. OUR LIMITATIONS ARE ONLY IN OUR MINDS. ITS OUR WEAK AND FLIMSY THOUGHTS THAT HOLD US BACK. THEY ARE LIMITATIONS ONLY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE CALL THEM!

Try to remember that…

OUR PROBLEMS ARENT THE PROBLEM. OUR REACTION AND OUR ATTITUDES ABOUT ARE PROBLEMS ARE USUALLY THE PROBLEM!

START WALKING! BREAK THE ROPES!

THE WORLD IS YOURS!

“HE WHO SAYS HE CAN AND HE WHO SAYS HE CAN’T ARE BOTH USUALLY RIGHT!”

-Confucius

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

PEACE!

 

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“LIKE” IT OR NOT

 

Like it or not

While some people dismiss Facebook as just a social media site, I actually like Facebook because there are certain similarities to life . I started using Social media during the period of time when my daughter was extremely sick in the hospital, as a way to keep myself feeling encouraged and positive. Over the years I have posted things on social media websites such as Facebook and I try to be as positive and motivational and encouraging as possible. Sometimes the things I say no matter how encouraging or positive don’t get a huge amount of “likes”. Most of the time people wont “like” or even comment on the things that I say on Facebook. But,  there have been times when I have actually physically gone to Yonkers or White Plains or various parts of Connecticut or the Bronx or wherever I have friends. I have had people who I would run into that I know personally tell me that some of the things that I may have said or posted over the years on Facebook has had a positive impact on them. Some people have actually said to me “please keep on doing what you’re doing”. Some people tell me that I have actually made a difference in their lives and that I have had a positive impact on their lives. My main mission since I have been on Facebook and any of these social media sites has been to MOTIVATE those individuals who have found their purpose in life to keep pushing, and to keep moving forward until they succeed and make their dreams reality. My other mission has been to encourage and INSPIRE those who haven’t yet found their purpose to keep looking for it and to not give up until they have found it. Sometimes, I dig deep to try to find the right words to MOTIVATE and INSPIRE others. Once I think I have found the words I share them on my blog and on Facebook and other social media sites. There have been times when nobody would click like and I would think to myself this is stupid and a waste of time, nobody clicks like, nobody comments, nobody is even paying attention. I give up on this whole positivity, motivation and inspirational thing. This is stupid, I will just motivate and encourage myself. What good is trying to motivate and inspire others if nobody is even listening or paying attention.

What I have learned is that just because nobody clicks “like”, just because nobody comments, that doesn’t mean that people aren’t listening or paying attention. I have learned that just because people don’t respond in the way that you want them or expect them to respond, it doesn’t mean that your words are wasted. The people who I have run across in real life who have told me the impact that some of my words have had are people who never responded to me at all on Facebook. Sometimes I have forgotten that I am even “Friends” with them on Facebook because they never respond and I never hear from them on Facebook. But, when I see them in real life, they will tell me the impact that my words may have had on them. There have been instances where people I don’t even know have “liked” or commented on things that I have posted to Facebook or have even approached me in the street because of something I have said on Facebook.

I guess my point is just because a person doesn’t click “like” or just because a person doesn’t comment on something you say on Facebook or just because a person doesn’t immediately get up and enroll in college or get their GED, or just because a person doesn’t immediately get up and pursue their dreams, just because your child doesn’t start immediately getting good grades, or immediately change their behavior JUST BECAUSE A PERSON DOESNT RESPOND IN THE WAY THAT YOU WANT THEM TO RESPOND, OR THEY DONT RESPOND IN THE WAY THAT YOU WANT THEM TO RESPOND, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE NOT LISTENING TO YOU, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARENT PAYING ATTENTION. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE NOT HAVING AN IMPACT ON THEM. I HAVE LEARNED THAT WHETHER THEY “LIKE”  IT OR NOT SOMEONE IS ALWAYS WATCHING YOU, SOMEONE IS ALWAYS LISTENING TO YOU WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT. Being that someone is always watching and always listening to you, I encourage you to try to make ALL of your words to others as POSITIVE, MOTIVATIONAL, ENCOURAGING and INSPIRATIONAL as possible. You never know if the person who is listening to you or watching you is on the verge of quitting, giving up or even committing suicide and YOUR WORDS to them are their deciding factor.

It is with our tongues and our words do we have the power and the ability to BUILD or DESTROY! We have the power to GIVE LIFE or TAKE LIFE! What do you say we BUILD? What do you say we GIVE LIFE!

I have learned to….

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.
-Napoleon Hill

“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all is well with you, and God shall hear your words and make them true.”
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox
LIFE AND DEATH ARE IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE!
PEACE!
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WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE!

Iceberg

I’m really into sciences and all that stuff, so one night I read this article about icebergs. I learned that icebergs are pieces of ice that formed on land and float in an ocean or lake. Icebergs vary in shapes and sizes, they can range from ice-cube-sized chunks to ice islands the size of a small country. In order to be considered an actual “iceberg” it must measure at least 16 feet across on top. The tip or top of the Iceberg or the part that you can actually see above the surface is the smallest part. So as big as an Iceberg may appear on top, there is so much more below the surface that you cannot see.

As I am reading this it made me think about when we look at other people and we compare our lives to other people’s lives. When we compare our cars to other people’s cars and our wardrobes to other people’s and our jobs and careers to other people’s. Comparing our lives and our circumstances Its kinda like looking at an iceberg. You may see the money and the car and the job or the life that another person has. That is “The tip of the Iceberg”. Because what you can’t see or don’t know is that the person who you look at and envy their job or career, you couldn’t see the hours, days, weeks, months or years of work and neglecting their families that they had to put into it. You can’t see that maybe they have a horrible home life because they neglected their families and put their careers over their families and that they are on the verge of divorce and their children don’t want anything to do with them. You didn’t know or couldn’t see that the person who drives that big fancy car that you envy, lost a parent, child, spouse or a loved one and got the money to buy that car in a life insurance settlement. That person whose wardrobe that you admire and wish you had, you couldn’t see that their children have no food in the refrigerator and the bills and past due notices and shut off notices are stacked up and that they are on the verge of eviction just so that they can “look” good.  That person you know who seems to have the “Perfect” spouse who is so good looking and “appears” to be perfect and you just envy that persons relationship. But, what you can’t see is that person who has that perfect spouse that and perfect relationship that you envy, is on their third trip to rehab because they are helping that “perfect” spouse or mate deal with an addiction to drugs or alcohol. Or you can’t see how that “perfect” spouse mentally, verbally or physically abuses that person you envy so much behind closed doors.

I have learned that people are like icebergs, what you can’t see, the part that is buried and hidden, is way bigger than the part that you can see (the surface). What you can see is NOTHING in comparison to what you can’t see or what you don’t know. I have learned that when it comes to life and measuring our own individual progress in life. We are best if we only compared ourselves to ourselves. We are best if we set our own individual goals and had our own individual dreams and that’s what we use to measure how successful we are in life. Use your own personal goals and dreams as a bench mark to determine where you are in life. You don’t know enough about anybody else’s life or circumstances to be comparing your life and circumstances to. There is no way to accurately judge yourself or your success in life by measuring it against others. You don’t have enough information. How would you solve the math problem 7 + __ = __?  You will NEVER have enough information to fill in the blanks of other  people’s lives. Are you willing to go through what they have gone through to get what they got? Are you willing to accept the “bad” that comes along with their “good”? Are you willing to give up what they gave up to get what they got?

Just KNOW that YOU are beautiful if YOU say YOU are. YOU are successful if YOU say YOU are. YOU are a winner if YOU say YOU are! NO ONES LIFE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEFINE YOUR LIFE BUT YOURS!

A wise woman once told me that….

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~Maya Angelou

A wise man once told me…

I cannot say this too strongly: Do not compare yourselves to others. Be true to who you are, and continue to learn with all your might. – Daisaku Ikeda

another wise man once told me that ….

Comparison is a trap. It will kill our joy. It will rob us of our peace. It makes us act foolish and stupid. It creates terrible tension in our relationships with others. So here’s what you need to focus on: Let God use you the way he sees fit to do so. – Kurt W. Bubna

You get the point.

THE ONLY COMPARISON YOU SHOULD BE MAKING OF YOURSELF IS, COMPARING YOU TO THE YOU YOU WERE YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE AND THE DAY BEFORE AND MAKING SURE THAT YOU TODAY, IS BETTER THAN THE YOU YOU WERE YESTERDAY. IF YOU KNEW LIKE I KNEW YOU WOULD CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE! THE WORLD IS YOURS!

 

PEACE!

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NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!

I’m almost embarrassed to tell this story but there is actually a point.

My mother retired about 20 years ago from a job that she had been working on for about 30 years. After she retired her friends and loved ones gave her a retirement party. At the retirement party there was plenty of laughter and plenty of tears. Apparently my mother had a huge impact on a lot of people. Throughout her retirement party many people had given her quite a few gifts. But, there was one gift that was very special to her. A few of her friends and co-workers had prepared a speech and  got together and bought her this beautiful 24 Karat gold herringbone bracelet. My mother is a tough lady but when they gave the speech and gave her this bracelet, as tough as my mother is she shed a few tears behind it. She really cherished this bracelet, not so much for the monetary value. She cherished this bracelet because of the sentimental and emotional value that was attached to it. She was friends with and worked with some of the people who gave it to her for 25 30 years. So there was a lot of emotion and time and history attached to this bracelet.

I happened to have an event or some sort of dressy affair that I was going to shortly after my mothers retirement party and I asked her if I could borrow her gold bracelet and she was hesitant but I begged and begged. She finally said yes. But, not before giving me the “Be careful. this bracelet means a lot to me” disclaimer. So after telling my mom how careful I would be and promising that I would take care of her bracelet and promising that I wouldn’t lose it or let anything happen to it, she let me borrow it. I took it and put it on and went on my merry way with her prized bracelet. At the time I was working for the County and I was working on a garbage truck. So I came in that night from my event and I ran out the next morning and went to my job and came home. The next day my mother asked me for her bracelet back and I had forgotten all about it. I forgot that I even borrowed it or had it on.  I checked my wrist and my heart sank. The bracelet wasn’t on my wrist. I did the best I could to retrace all of my steps but I couldn’t find the bracelet anywhere. I felt absolutely horrible. She cherished this bracelet. It had sentimental and emotional value attached to it that I could never replace. She put her prized possession in my hands and I carelessly lost it.

In hindsight I believe that maybe I lost it because it wasn’t mine. I didn’t have the same emotional attachment that she had to it. I wasn’t friends for 20 or 30 years with the people who gave it to her like she was. The bracelet didn’t have the same sentimental value to me as it did to her so in my childish immature mind I didn’t care for it or take the same cautions with it that she would have as the actual owner of it. It didn’t mean to me what it meant to her.

Years later I recalled this story when I had a business idea and a dream that I was working on. I had a plan to build this business from the ground up and there were a few people whose help I needed to get the idea off the ground. These were people that I felt that I could leave my dreams in their hands. They told me “Yeah, no doubt! I got you kid! I got you! I can help you with this! I can do this for you  and I’m gonna do that for you!”. They told me a whole bunch of stuff which led me to believe that I would be able to trust them to develop and nurture and take care of my dream just like I would. I trusted that my dreams were being left in good hands. Time went on and I would call the people whose hands I left my dreams to follow up and see how things were going, and would get no answer, I would text and get no response, I would leave voice mails and no return calls. What I have learned is that NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE WILL CARE FOR AND NURTURE AND PROTECT YOUR DREAM LIKE YOU! No one has the emotional ties to your dream like you do. No one has spent as much time with your dream as you have. Your dream doesn’t have the same emotional sentimental value to others as it does to you. NO ONE WILL EVER CARE ABOUT YOUR SUCCESS OR YOUR FULFILLING YOUR DREAMS LIKE YOU! I have learned that if you leave your dreams in other peoples hands, your dreams will end up in the garbage truck, your dreams will be left in the trunk of someone’s car. If left in other peoples hands your dreams will be under the front seat of someone’s car with old French fries and cookie crumbs stuck to them.

I have learned that when YOU have a dream it is YOUR duty and YOUR obligation to protect it and to make sure it comes true. Be extra careful about whose hands YOU leave YOUR dream in. YOUR success or YOUR failure is on YOU. Don’t leave your dreams in anyone else’s hands and count on or depend on ANYONE to make YOUR dreams come true. People are busy and have their own lives and priorities and YOUR dreams will be put on the back burner of other peoples lives. Delegate, maybe ask for help when you need it but do not put your dreams in other peoples hands and expect for others or depend on other people to make YOUR dreams come true. TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN DREAMS! As much as people love/like you, your dreams will never mean as much to them as they do to you.

I have learned that being able to blame someone for your failure is not the same thing as success.

Keep in mind that…

Responsibility is the price of greatness.
-Winston Churchill
The mould of a man’s fortune is in his own hands.
-Francis Bacon

DREAM BIG, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR DREAMS AND THE WORLD IS YOURS!

NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!

KEEP GOING!

PEACE!

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